Post by Anigme on Nov 6, 2009 21:49:28 GMT -5
You Vs. Flamer, do and don't
-AKA The Sup? Guide.
Flamers. We all have to deal with them. Because, no matter what happens you do, someone’s gonna give you shit about something. And you need a way to shut them right the hell up.
WHY?
There’s also the inner rage theory. The normal person out there is a nice guy. He’ll hold the door open for you when you’re carrying a big package, or be happy to let you in when your roommate sexiles you. But deep down, we’re all have some kind of inner rage going on. We eat all kinds of shit every day, from our bosses, from our friends, from the ISP provider who won’t change your damn ISP because you got banned from B.net like a moron. Some people handle this kind of thing normally, like punching a pillow or terrorizing the family cat. But the morons that sign onto B.net are a different breed. They are cowards who sign into the system to become E-thugs since they can’t be any kind of tough in real life. I mean, when you are a giant pussy, who the hell are you supposed to take your rage out on but people on the internet?
There’s also the E-peen theory. Remember, most of us on B.net are male. No matter which way you spin it, there aren’t a hell of a lot of female gamers out there. And, as anybody who has been to a sausage-fest, you get enough cocks in one room and a fight is bound to break out, because we are all a bunch of peacocks dammit.
Remember kids, it takes more muscles to smile than to frown. Everyone in the world WANTS to be an asshole on the internet, only the gifted overcome it. If you are one of those gifted, congrats. If not, well, I'll save a hot coal for you in hell.
WHAT NOT TO DO
Ok, so we know why the flamer is out there. But how do we deal with them? Well, let’s take what you THINK you know and turn it upside down.
_______
Method 1: Flaming them back
Them: You suck blue you little fag!!1ONE!!1
You: Eat my crotch you little monkey!
Why you think it works: They are a moronic flamer. You are clearly a superior. You should be able to destroy them with your superior intellect and language skills. Right?
WRONG: The problem with this is that if you flame them back, you look just as stupid. Remember, the other 8 people in the game already think that the flamer is an idiot, and probably face-palmed as soon as they saw such stupid crap cross their screen. If they see you spew the same kind of stuff, even if you are much more intelligent, you are still going in their mental grouping of moron. And there’s no way to beat a flamer by yelling at him back. Remember, flaming is the bane of their existence. While you are just a normal guy with things like friends, girlfriends, Hello Kitty, and other diversions, all they know is flaming. As they saying goes, they will “take you down and choke you to death with their massive balls of flaming experience.” Or something like that.
________
Method 2: Squelching them
Why you think it works: You just put up an impenetrable wall. They can’t bother you no matter what. GG FLAMER!
WRONG: Remember, you are a admin/player in Clan Dope. It is your job to grab your holy sword and smite flaming demons wherever you go. Remember, you have 8 other beleaguered souls in the game, souls who probably don’t know how to squelch. As an admin/player, you have to do your best to defend them from the average idiot flamer. Plus, if you don’t respond, in the flamers head, THEY WIN. NEVER give a flamer the satisfaction of winning. It will only encourage their bullshit. They’ll convert others, start a war, ect. Bad news bears IMO.
THE PROPER WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS:
This of course is what it has all been leading up to. Right now you are sitting there saying “What the heck. What can I do now? I can’t flame, I can’t ignore, sounds like I’m pretty beat!”
If you are thinking that, you’re clearly an idiot and didn’t read the title. I said I would take care of you, and I will. There is only one foolproof method to dealing with flamers, and it’s a single word. A word of power. A word of excellence. A word probably not even found in the dictionary, but by the gods that will change when I get elected to that board of like 9 godlike people who decide that kinda stuff.
__
THE SUP? METHOD
__
Sup? It’s a single word, but typing it is devastating to flamers.
Here’s Why: Flamers can’t stand hiving their well articulated flames ignored. The are looking for your reaction, and that is one satisfaction you aren’t going to give them. Sup? Gives them the sense that you read what they said… and don’t know what the hell they are talking about. It shuts them right the hell up.
Usage: You can pretty much follow any flame with the word Sup?
Example:
Flamer: You SUXXORS SO HARD at DOTA I can 1v1 you with Luna in the river all the time I AM SO GOOD you are a stupid fag.
You: Sup?
Owned. Right there. How does one respond to that? It’s such a vague damn question. You may now smile viciously as you imagine the thought process of the person on the other screen coming to a halt as they desperately try to unravel the meaning of what you just dropped on them. (WARNING: DON’T THINK ABOUT IT TOO HARD. YOU’RE STILL PLAYING THE GAME, AND A BONER WILL BREAK YOUR CONCENTRATION)
Some restrictions:
DO NOT USE SUP? as a toy. Although many people find that posts containing the word sup? is funny, it is indeed not something to joke around about. Remember, this is a powerful word, and shouldn’t be thrown around recklessly like a plastic bag full of kittens into the highway. Using the word with friends reduces it’s effectiveness.
DO NOT BASTARDIZE THE SUP? WITH EXTRA LETTERS OR QUESTION MARKS. What the hell is wrong with you people. Extra letters make you look like an idiot, and brings the whole operation crashing down around your ear. How the hell does one even drag out a “P” sound without stuttering like a retard? Also one question mark is pretty straightforward. Multiple
makes Sup into a superquestion, and makes a mockery of everything I stand for.
DO NOT TRY THIS IN REAL-LIFE. Though doing this to your boss/teacher may be tempting, it’s probably not the best idea in the long run, as it will only earn you detentions or get you fired. It also doesn’t help when you run out of things to say to the ladies, because saying sup? as a pickup line makes you look like a. A gigantic tool OR b. mentally retarded.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Testemonial:
Player (1:53:04 AM): It's so true
Player (1:53:39 AM): Psst! Host! You're a gay jewish human of african descent that fuxx his diseased yak!!!
Admin (1:53:59 AM): Sup?
Player (1:54:09 AM): Flamer: ZOMGWTFBBQ..... <larynx explodes, rendering flamer mute>
Conclusion:
Anyways, I am but your humble servant in passing this knowledge. I give you all a great power in passing down the knowledge of this word, and I trust that you will use it wisely and justly. Please read the guide completely before even attempting using the word, and practice safe use in solo games/ Slide Kitty Slide games before bringing it to a real DotA match.
Good luck, and good night.
-AKA The Sup? Guide.
Flamers. We all have to deal with them. Because, no matter what happens you do, someone’s gonna give you shit about something. And you need a way to shut them right the hell up.
WHY?
There’s also the inner rage theory. The normal person out there is a nice guy. He’ll hold the door open for you when you’re carrying a big package, or be happy to let you in when your roommate sexiles you. But deep down, we’re all have some kind of inner rage going on. We eat all kinds of shit every day, from our bosses, from our friends, from the ISP provider who won’t change your damn ISP because you got banned from B.net like a moron. Some people handle this kind of thing normally, like punching a pillow or terrorizing the family cat. But the morons that sign onto B.net are a different breed. They are cowards who sign into the system to become E-thugs since they can’t be any kind of tough in real life. I mean, when you are a giant pussy, who the hell are you supposed to take your rage out on but people on the internet?
There’s also the E-peen theory. Remember, most of us on B.net are male. No matter which way you spin it, there aren’t a hell of a lot of female gamers out there. And, as anybody who has been to a sausage-fest, you get enough cocks in one room and a fight is bound to break out, because we are all a bunch of peacocks dammit.
Remember kids, it takes more muscles to smile than to frown. Everyone in the world WANTS to be an asshole on the internet, only the gifted overcome it. If you are one of those gifted, congrats. If not, well, I'll save a hot coal for you in hell.
WHAT NOT TO DO
Ok, so we know why the flamer is out there. But how do we deal with them? Well, let’s take what you THINK you know and turn it upside down.
_______
Method 1: Flaming them back
Them: You suck blue you little fag!!1ONE!!1
You: Eat my crotch you little monkey!
Why you think it works: They are a moronic flamer. You are clearly a superior. You should be able to destroy them with your superior intellect and language skills. Right?
WRONG: The problem with this is that if you flame them back, you look just as stupid. Remember, the other 8 people in the game already think that the flamer is an idiot, and probably face-palmed as soon as they saw such stupid crap cross their screen. If they see you spew the same kind of stuff, even if you are much more intelligent, you are still going in their mental grouping of moron. And there’s no way to beat a flamer by yelling at him back. Remember, flaming is the bane of their existence. While you are just a normal guy with things like friends, girlfriends, Hello Kitty, and other diversions, all they know is flaming. As they saying goes, they will “take you down and choke you to death with their massive balls of flaming experience.” Or something like that.
________
Method 2: Squelching them
Why you think it works: You just put up an impenetrable wall. They can’t bother you no matter what. GG FLAMER!
WRONG: Remember, you are a admin/player in Clan Dope. It is your job to grab your holy sword and smite flaming demons wherever you go. Remember, you have 8 other beleaguered souls in the game, souls who probably don’t know how to squelch. As an admin/player, you have to do your best to defend them from the average idiot flamer. Plus, if you don’t respond, in the flamers head, THEY WIN. NEVER give a flamer the satisfaction of winning. It will only encourage their bullshit. They’ll convert others, start a war, ect. Bad news bears IMO.
THE PROPER WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS:
This of course is what it has all been leading up to. Right now you are sitting there saying “What the heck. What can I do now? I can’t flame, I can’t ignore, sounds like I’m pretty beat!”
If you are thinking that, you’re clearly an idiot and didn’t read the title. I said I would take care of you, and I will. There is only one foolproof method to dealing with flamers, and it’s a single word. A word of power. A word of excellence. A word probably not even found in the dictionary, but by the gods that will change when I get elected to that board of like 9 godlike people who decide that kinda stuff.
__
THE SUP? METHOD
__
Sup? It’s a single word, but typing it is devastating to flamers.
Here’s Why: Flamers can’t stand hiving their well articulated flames ignored. The are looking for your reaction, and that is one satisfaction you aren’t going to give them. Sup? Gives them the sense that you read what they said… and don’t know what the hell they are talking about. It shuts them right the hell up.
Usage: You can pretty much follow any flame with the word Sup?
Example:
Flamer: You SUXXORS SO HARD at DOTA I can 1v1 you with Luna in the river all the time I AM SO GOOD you are a stupid fag.
You: Sup?
Owned. Right there. How does one respond to that? It’s such a vague damn question. You may now smile viciously as you imagine the thought process of the person on the other screen coming to a halt as they desperately try to unravel the meaning of what you just dropped on them. (WARNING: DON’T THINK ABOUT IT TOO HARD. YOU’RE STILL PLAYING THE GAME, AND A BONER WILL BREAK YOUR CONCENTRATION)
Some restrictions:
DO NOT USE SUP? as a toy. Although many people find that posts containing the word sup? is funny, it is indeed not something to joke around about. Remember, this is a powerful word, and shouldn’t be thrown around recklessly like a plastic bag full of kittens into the highway. Using the word with friends reduces it’s effectiveness.
DO NOT BASTARDIZE THE SUP? WITH EXTRA LETTERS OR QUESTION MARKS. What the hell is wrong with you people. Extra letters make you look like an idiot, and brings the whole operation crashing down around your ear. How the hell does one even drag out a “P” sound without stuttering like a retard? Also one question mark is pretty straightforward. Multiple
makes Sup into a superquestion, and makes a mockery of everything I stand for.DO NOT TRY THIS IN REAL-LIFE. Though doing this to your boss/teacher may be tempting, it’s probably not the best idea in the long run, as it will only earn you detentions or get you fired. It also doesn’t help when you run out of things to say to the ladies, because saying sup? as a pickup line makes you look like a. A gigantic tool OR b. mentally retarded.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Testemonial:
Player (1:53:04 AM): It's so true
Player (1:53:39 AM): Psst! Host! You're a gay jewish human of african descent that fuxx his diseased yak!!!
Admin (1:53:59 AM): Sup?
Player (1:54:09 AM): Flamer: ZOMGWTFBBQ..... <larynx explodes, rendering flamer mute>
Conclusion:
Anyways, I am but your humble servant in passing this knowledge. I give you all a great power in passing down the knowledge of this word, and I trust that you will use it wisely and justly. Please read the guide completely before even attempting using the word, and practice safe use in solo games/ Slide Kitty Slide games before bringing it to a real DotA match.
Good luck, and good night.
